Age matters

Once we received a call 'My daughter is born on so and so date", and my mother replied - that my son is younger to your daughter. The other person replied - so what, these days its okay, it should not be a problem. My mother replied that she had a problem to end the conversation.

Family and property

Most girls freak to the idea of joint family (i.e. with parents of the guys). They don't even want to try out on how it is to live with them, and the first condition itself is to stay in an independent house. I agree that in Indian culture, a bride leaves her home to settle with the guy, but this seems like reverse psychology asking the guy to leave his parents as well ? Some girls freak at the idea of guy having an 'inherited property' and focus more on 'own property'. Is it because the inherited property is not in an area of their choice in the city?

American dream

Gone are days of the American dream of a decade ago when parents thought if their daughters got married to a boy in the US, it was a dream come true. I remember my mom mentioning once that our proposal was rejected because I was working in the US, and the reply of the other party was "Sorry Mami, my daughter works in Chennai and wants to boy to be from here only". One of the phone calls lasted just 10 seconds - "No US boys" please. (They don't even want to know if the boy has plans of settling in the US permanently or to return.)

One gentleman, father of the girl once rejected the proposal because I was a software architect. He said that "I have enough of this species in my family already and I'm sick and tired of their lifestyle. They have it all - flat, abroad vacations once a year, car etc. and they also have a sick body that complains of back ache at 35 years."

Money rules

The first question the girl and her family (Especially the menfolk) are interested in knowing is how much the guy earns. The girls are upfront in stating their demand to know the CTC of the guy and even go to the extent of checking their payslips. It is like if you are going to visit a girl, please carry your last payslip. The number of BE/BTech/MBA girls is more. So any girl who is BE BITS or NIT wants no less than BTech IIT or MS Harvard/Wharton/Stanford.

The beginning

It started when I turned 26 in 2005, I resisted a lot - but they never listened - there I was - a new brand launched on the matrimony portal. Alliance-search process is a big example of project management and is a project by itself. Enroll yourself in these sites and get an opportunity to find a suitable alliance from 1000 other registered users. For the first week or 2, the response by the profiles of girls, is always overwhelming.

Two weeks later it came as a tip from another family member (aunt) who found her son's bride at one of these sites that making your profile interesting with company name - salary details, a digitally altered picture, scuba diving/racing as hobbies as favorites invites lot of "interests" whereas a boring/predictable one with watching TV for hobbies and eating sambhar/rasam for favorite cuisines evince hardly any interest.

This process ended up after few months, with no results and two years passed by, my mother was almost sure that I had already found somebody for myself and when I said there wasn't anybody, she felt thankful silently ('Thank you God for not putting me through ' The test ' ), and there began the second round !!

One of the gems

This was about two years back when I was working in India for a start-up of a friend for about 6 months. One girl who wanted to know more about me, this was our online conversation.

Prospective bride (PB): What do you do?
me: I work with start up as a systems analyst.

PB: How come you are in Bangalore, your bio-data stated that you are from Pune? Even Pune is the IT hub right?
me: Yeah, I'm here helping my friend with his start up.

PB: Oh.. so you don't plan to move to Pune anytime soon?
me: Nope.

me: What do you do?
PB: I work for a stock brokerage firm in Mumbai.

me: Oh, so you must be a whiz with stocks and investing, with being good at picking right ones?
PB: Yes, in fact I bought my own car last month with my earnings.

me: So, you have a car and all. What if your prospective husband can't afford/doesn't have one?
PB: Well, he must!!! That's a basic requirement!

me: Well, I do not have one and a car is not even high on my list of priorities right now.

< awkward silence >

me: Hey, it's great chatting with you...
No-longer-prospective bride (N-PB): Let's be friends... and wish you luck with your search..

me: You too!